March 10, 2013

i don't care where you've been, how many miles, i still love you.

me when i was 20 and now at 25.

i don't usually part take in challenges but this one seemed kind of fun. it's the one where you get an age from an other blogger (Mimsi gave me 20) and you tell about your life then and now.

When I was 20:

i lived: in a small town with parents but i moved to Helsinki to study photography and my first room mates were a finnish girl and a russian girl and i never really got to know them well. they weren't very social, but that was alright because i made great friends at my school and for the first time i was living in the same city with my closest friends. i was on my own in a big city and it was new and exciting and i felt so grown up.

i was: happy and okay. i felt lighter than in years.

the most important things in my life were: friends and family of course. school and meeting new people. i spent most of my time with a camera in my hands, watching movies and going to gigs with friends. life was really just about good times.

i worked at: a cleaning company. i spent the summer cleaning bars, wich sounds awful but it was great. i had the coolest boss. after i moved to Helsinki i still sometimes did weekend shifts when i was visiting my parents but it soon got too overwhelming and i decided to focus on school.

i wanted: learn everything about photography. more money cause i was a poor student and had to be creative with money. i wanted to travel and move abroad.

i was afraid: failing. i was getting over years of depression, i was afraid of slipping back.

Now that I'm 25:

i live: with my parents again. yeah, sometimes i feel a bit silly to be this old. but it's alright, i can save money when i move out in the summer/fall. i can buy more books and travel. but i do miss living on my own. and Helsinki.

i am: content. planing my future. sometimes having a quarter life crisis and sometimes just so happy about everything. happy, free, confused and lonely in the best way. is what Taylor Swift sings and i think that sums up perfectly what it's like to bee in your 20's.

the most important things in my life are: friends and family, still. that will never change. i've realised that what you do in life is not nearly as important than who you do those things with. and that's what's important right now. people. also books and traveling and gigs. and friends, so important they need to me mentioned twice. and my sisters kids!

i work at: a small library. it's wonderful, to be surrounded by books and people who care about books, every day. this might be my calling, i don't know.

i want: to get into a university to study English. i want to see my friends more. those years in Helsinki were wonderful but now most of us live all over the country and i miss my friends. i want to see more bands and i want spring and snow to melt. but i'm also happy with this moment. i've learned not to want so much all the time, to apreciate what i have and what i get.

i am afraid: of letting go and losing people. i'm not afraid of failing anymore, i've accepted it as apart of life. and i'm not afraid of depression anymore, i'm better equipped to deal with it than i was before.

if you want to do this too just comment and i'll give you an age i want you to reminisce about.


  1. anna ikä :) ! teen tän sit ehkä 8>

  2. @Sofia: vitsit en tajua miks mun reply nappula ei toimi... pitää selvittää asiaa.

    mutta siis joo saat iän 18! :D

  3. Hey Stu,
    Beautiful post. Very touching. Yeah, hopefully parents will always be there.

    Just cruising through Blog Catalog & came across your site. Have been lucky to get to Helsinki a couple of times.

    Love the photo's & all the best.
    Cheers, ic


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